XOXO
I've been a little apprehensive about writing again. It all kinda started when I went to see if I still had a blog. I haven't written in a long while. I just haven't made the time. Sure enough, I still have this here blog, and reading through it, I found out, I used to write some pretty funny stuff. The thought of trying to be creative and funny again, is pretty intimidating. But I'm gonna try. I miss it.
I thought that maybe I would try to update some older posts to start off with. So here goes:
About 6 years ago, I wrote a post called Two Too fast. It was about my very first daughter, Libby, turning two. This was a big deal in my life at the time. She was my first baby girl, and time with her was slipping by way too fast for my own comfort. I got over that eventually, you really have to as a parent. Life went on, and there came 3 more little girls and boy to focus on.
Yesterday, I was out with my Libby Girl. I take one of the older kids out with me every week to grocery shop. They take turns, and we always go out to eat a decent lunch. It's the only meal all week that I don't cook, and it's a great and special way for me to spend that alone, quality time with them, in the midst of all the chaos that comes with a huge family like ours. Yesterday was her turn.
Our day started off with the same ol' things, pack the coolers, the lists, plan the route between stores, errands, etc. But sitting at lunch, at our favorite place, I saw something different. I saw me. I mean, I see me in all my kids in one way or another. But looking at her, and listening to her talk, and her expressions, she is me. And I thought back to that one post about how hard it was for me when she turned two. At the time I could not imagine myself sitting across the table from an 8 year old Libby. I never imagined she'd be so much like me. But here we were, and there she was. Sharing a slice of chocolate cake with me, and laughing at her faces in the mirror next to our table. Wow, it was surreal.
She is gonna keep on growing, Lord Willing. She's gonna get older, and change. I wonder what she's gonna be like 6 more years from now? I hope I'm here to see it.
I still get a little weepy when I think of my first baby girl as a baby, how quickly that time went away, and how fast it continues to go. But I'm not as sad as I used to be. Each stage that passes, leaves a little tiny hole in your heart, that gets filled with the newness, and joy of the next stage. There will always be a part of me that misses my little baby girl, but there is an even bigger part of me that simply adores my daughter. My prayer, is that 6 more years from now, I will be saying "There will always be part of me that misses my 8 year old daughter, but an even bigger part of me adores my teenager." ;)
Hmmm, the word "teenager" scares me a little bit...
For now though, this is what I've got. And I love every little, or uh, big part of it.
