A Fairy Tale Love Story Worth Reading

To my children-

Okay, so y'all know I love me some Cinderella. It's like my most favorite movie of all time, ever. But what I want to tell you is that fairy godmothers don't create the happily ever after. There is no magic wand to wave that turns the bad stuff into good stuff. God writes the script. He is the only one who can give you "happily ever after". He is the only one who can save you, and change your life. Outside of God there is no true happiness, and nothing truly good will ever come.

So on the day of our 15th wedding anniversary, I wrote y'all a little story about this very subject. I hope you enjoy it and learn from it.

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl. They fell in love at a young age. Everyone told them that this would never last. They were almost right.

The boy and girl had so much in common. They enjoyed each other’s company. They spent every moment they could, together.  They laughed and lived and loved each other crazy. However they never could seem to get past the dark things that lived so deep inside them. The boy was filled with anger and the girl was filled with fear and insecurity. They fought a lot. And fighting grows tiresome after a while.

One day, they found out they were going to be parents. But that baby was never to be. They made a decision that left the girl feeling empty and sad. And now she could add anger and emptiness to her fear and insecurity. The darkness and despair in her heart was growing.

Some time later they found out once again they would be parents. The girl was scared, but elated to have a second chance to do the right thing. She was determined to fight through her fear and love this baby with all of her heart.  She had hoped that maybe this child that they would share, would cause them to grow closer.  She was wrong.

That precious baby became a ray of sunshine in the girl’s dreary and sad days. For the boy had gotten a good career. One that more than payed the bills and it gave him pride to add to his anger. He was somebody smart, and talented, and unstoppable. His love for the girl dwindled and dwindled until he no longer saw anything good in her, and she knew it. His words became cold and hurtful. His time was no longer spent with the girl and their son. He was on top of the world and but it seemed that the girl, no matter how hard she tried, only made him more angry.  The darkness had grown bigger in his heart. Even though the girl was sad, and knew she was not loved, she found joy in her son. For a little while at least.

The funny thing about pain, and sadness, and grief is that even the strongest person alive cannot truly comfort themselves. They cannot cure their own grief, or ease their own pain. They cannot save themselves from it. If the strongest person cannot, what does that mean for someone who is already weak, and broken? You can only hang on for so long. The girl's arms were growing weak, she was losing her grip. Soon, very soon, she would let go…and fall hard.

She began running. Running from all the darkness that lived inside her. She fell hard into a pit of alcohol, and self loathing. But that didn't stop her. She kept running from the pain. She ran faster and farther away until one day she woke up and realized that she no longer had sad feelings about her life and marriage and family. That she had finally become numb, and didn’t care for the boy or their family anymore. The darkness in her heart was so big and deep that there was no more room for light.  She decided it was time to move on. The boy was all too happy to let her go.

But God had something different in mind. His plans were bigger than just a sad ending to this love story. His plans were miraculous. God took the boy’s anger and pride. He took it from him and showed him what true love and mercy were. He gave the boy a tender heart that was full of love for Him, the girl, and the precious baby. The boy no longer wanted the girl to leave. He wanted her to stay,and he wanted her to know about God. He loved his family. The deep darkness in his heart was gone.

On the day when the girl was supposed to sign a lease on her new home and life, the boy told her they needed to talk. He told her all about God, and what He’d done on the cross, and in the boy’s heart.  He asked her to stay. He told her how much he loved her. But he sounded crazy, and this was not good news to her. It was too little too late and she had nothing left to give. So she thought.

What the girl didn’t know is that God was already working in her. She thought she wanted to leave, but just couldn’t do it. "Why" she thought? Even though she didn’t know it, God would not let her. And He was going to save and change her too!

As time went by, the girl saw the drastic changes in the boy, and how much the boy loved her.  No matter how much she would try to hurt the boy, he continued to humbly and mercifully love her. This became a living testimony to the mercy of God and His power to save and change lives. She could no longer deny Him.The darkness began to leave her. The anger, emptiness, fear, and insecurity was being replaced with love, and joy, and peace. She began to love the boy and their family once again. Only this time, it was with a love founded in Christ. A love that would last.

For good measure, God removed everything that the boy and girl had. He took the boy’s good job. He took their nice home. He took their sense of security in themselves. He took all notions that they would provide for their family. He left them with only the ability to trust in Him for all things. And now with a blank slate, 

God would rebuild what had been broken down and taken away.

This is the beauty of the gospel. Jesus Christ came to live as a man, on this earth. He gave up his life as a perfect sacrifice for the sins of His people. He defeated death. Because He chose us, while we were sinners, not looking for Him or His perfect pardon, we are transformed and saved. We will not taste death in hell. We will live on! And while we walk this earth, we have a comforter, the Holy Spirit. We no longer have to suffer in the despair of darkness. We have the light! He will show us joy in our sorrows, He will give us peace in place of our fear, He will teach us compassion in the heat of our anger, He will cause us to love in spite of our pain, and He will give us strength in our weakness.

The boy and girl spent years growing in love for God and one another. There were lots of bumps along the road. There were times of frustration, and fear. But the girl and boy continued to hold on to God’s promises and one another. The hard times gave them chances to grow closer, and the good times gave them reasons to remember where they started and why they are so thankful to God for saving their souls and their lives! Even through times of being stretched to the limit, joblessness, moving, financial strains, health issues, sleepless nights, and puppies eating expensive things, they remained ever strong and ever in love. They learned to lean on each other and to hold each other up. They live, and laugh, and love each other crazy!

Once again, for good measure, God  blessed them with a ginormous family - 7 more children! There is chaos, and noise, and messes, and dirt, and crying, and lots and LOTS of laughter…and food. And they all live happily ever after in a tiny house, way out in the woods.

Okay, so this is not really a “fairy tale” love story. And the first part is kinda sad really. But I would not trade one single day in darkness. Those days give me such an appreciation for what God has done, and for the beauty that is before me now.

God took everything away, good and bad. Everything that we had built, every feeling and emotion we harbored deep in our souls. He destroyed it all, and rebuilt it. He made something so beautiful out of something so dark and ugly. From pain and hurt, He built joy and love.  He wrote this love story for us. No fairy godmother or magic wand. We're not "lucky", and there is no "secret" to our great marriage. It's what God built for us. To Him be all the glory!

The End

Lemon Garlic Insanity

Sunday evening, Chris and I were sitting on the couch reading.  It was nice and quiet, and we should have known better! I kept saying "Do you smell lemon?"  I couldn't figure out why my house was filling with the wonderful smell of lemon.  It was almost relaxing.  So naturally, I let way too much time go by, enjoying the quiet, before I went to investigate that lovely smell in the air.

I followed the scent until it got stronger, which led me tot he kitchen. I could clearly see the floor was soaked.  But with what?  I went in to investigate, and upon stepping onto my kitchen floor, I did a form of gymnastics that bent my legs into some kind of pretzely split.  What in the world??  Water is not this slippery and it doesn't smell nearly this sweet.

When I looked up, there he was. Just grinning and staring at me.  My three year old was tucked into the corner of the cabinets, holding a once full spray can of Scotts Liquid Gold furniture polish.  My heart sunk.  How in creation am I going to get furniture polish off of my linoleum floor, my stove, my cabinets, and my rugs?

Thanks to Mrs. Meyers cleaner, vinegar, a steam mop and too much time spent cleaning instead of relaxing on a Sunday night, I now have the cleanest kitchen in Mt. Croghan! LOL

Boys sure do some crazy things.  My girls never did things like that.  My little boy is breaking me in good, in the patience, cleaning, and acrobatic department.  I have had boys, but that was what seems like long ago, and I feel like I've forgotten what it's like to raise little ones.  My boys are soon to be 11 and 16.  they don't really hose kitchens down with furniture polish, or bathe cats in the toilet, or other sanity breaking activities like that anymore.  But my little Jack Jack has been vigilant in reminding of what raising little boys is all bout Buddy!

And he likes to make sure I don't forget by ensuring that there wont be too much time gone by in between his "exploring" the world and systematically destroying it phase.

Take for example this morning.  I thought for just one second that I had it together today. Awe, how cute of me.  All the older kids were sitting down doing school work.  The littles (Jack and Belle) were on the porch playing with the doll house and little horsies.  Now is the perfect time to check my email and the latest news right?  Yes!  With my hot cup of tea, I sat down to read. And it was glorious for about 3.5 minutes.  Until I started to smell garlic.  Garlic?  At 9 am?  What the what?  This time, I knew there needed to be an investigation sooner rather than later.

The kids are sitting quietly at tables and desks doing school work.  The kitchen is untouched, and clean.  Did I just not brush my teeth good this morning?  Oh no, wait, there it is.  The sound of disaster.  It's a distinct squeal of joy that a boy \makes when he knows his Mother is about to have a mild heart attack and her hair is just about to fall out.  That squeal is coming from the porch, where is WAS quietly playing with his little sister 5 minutes ago.  But I know that that squeal does not mean good things.  So I go to the door and look out the window.  There they are, happy as clams, making sand castles out of my restaurant size container of garlic powder. Garlic doesn't work as well as sand thought, so maybe it'd be more fun to just throw it into the air and pretend it's snowing?  Yes, of course it would.

Mystery solved.  The garlic smell is coming from the garlic snow on my porch, awesome.

Also, garlic powder doesn't come out of wood real well.

But the upside is that my kitchen is wonderfully, lemony, clean, and we shouldn't have any vampire issues for like a long time, so...

Now if you'll excuse me, my girls are screaming something about Jack, a marker and a closet door. Right. I sat down again.

My Libby Girl

Momma says it's time to start bloggin' again, and if Momma says, then it must be done.  So this one is for you Mom :)

XOXO

I've been a little apprehensive about writing again.  It all kinda started when I went to see if I still had a blog.  I haven't written in a long while.  I just haven't made the time.  Sure enough, I still have this here blog, and reading through it, I found out, I used to write some pretty funny stuff.  The thought of trying to be creative and funny again, is pretty intimidating.  But I'm gonna try.  I miss it.

I thought that maybe I would try to update some older posts to start off with.  So here goes:

About 6 years ago, I wrote a post called Two Too fast. It was about my very first daughter, Libby, turning two.  This was a big deal in my life at the time.  She was my first baby girl, and time with her was slipping by way too fast for my own comfort. I got over that eventually, you really have to as a parent. Life went on, and there came 3 more little girls and boy to focus on.

Yesterday, I was out with my Libby Girl.  I take one of the older kids out with me every week to grocery shop.  They take turns, and we always go out to eat a decent lunch.  It's the only meal all week that I don't cook, and it's a great and special way for me to spend that alone, quality time with them, in the midst of all the chaos that comes with a huge family like ours.  Yesterday was her turn.

Our day started off with the same ol' things, pack the coolers, the lists, plan the route between stores, errands, etc.  But sitting at lunch, at our favorite place, I saw something different.  I saw me.  I mean, I see me in all my kids in one way or another.  But looking at her, and listening to her talk, and her expressions, she is me.  And I thought back to that one post about how hard it was for me when she turned two.  At the time I could not imagine myself sitting across the table from an 8 year old Libby. I never imagined she'd be so much like me. But here we were, and there she was.  Sharing a slice of chocolate cake with me, and laughing at her faces in the mirror next to our table. Wow, it was surreal.

She is gonna keep on growing, Lord Willing.  She's gonna get older, and change.  I wonder what she's gonna be like 6 more years from now?  I hope I'm here to see it.

I still get a little weepy when I think of my first baby girl as a baby, how quickly that time went away, and how fast it continues to go.  But I'm not as sad as I used to be.  Each stage that passes, leaves a little tiny hole in your heart, that gets filled with the newness, and joy of the next stage.  There will always be a part of me that misses my little baby girl, but there is an even bigger part of me that simply adores my daughter.  My prayer, is that 6 more years from now, I will be saying "There will always be part of me that misses my 8 year old daughter, but an even bigger part of me adores my teenager." ;)

Hmmm, the word "teenager" scares me a little bit...

For now though, this is what I've got.  And I love every little, or uh, big part of it.

A Non "Working" Mom

So I had an apt at the doctors the other day. No big deal, just some things that needed to be taken care of, end of story. I brought my 1 and 3 year old with me so they wouldn't cause troubles at home, and like I said, the apt. was no big deal. Until I remembered that my 1 year old is a fresh out of the gate, just walkin', full blown, tazmanian devil...what was I thinking??

The nurse practitioner who was trying to go over some stuff with me, was totally distracted by Baby-Zilla. He was climbing in the chairs, banging on the window yelling at ducks outside, and at one point even climbed up and stood on top of the trash can. She remarked "He is so cute!". I said, "Yeah. He is also SOOO bad!". To which she replied, "I see that! He is a hot little mess, and I think that's what makes him so cute to me. I can't stand it! These two must keep you busy all day long, I can't imagine." And then she said it. Three seemingly little words that make me cringe, "Do you work?"

These words shouldn't really make me feel negative. I mean, what's the big deal? I know what she means by that. She means, do I have a nine to five that I get up and go to every day that provides me with some kid of compensation at the end of the week. I get it. But in the crazy feminist society that we live in, the words "do you work" have so much more meaning behind them.

A long time ago, women used to work because they had to. And yes, there's still women today who only work because they have to. But the majority of working women, are working because they want to. Now that's not my issue, do what you like. My issue is that somewhere along the way, women decided that it's no longer "work" to stay home and raise a family. That doing such "menial" things is only what uneducated, oppressed, women do because "they have to". That just staying home is not a worthy endeavor. It's much better for a woman to get an education and a career and make a lot of money. That she can and should "do it all". And that mentality, that this society teaches our little girls, is why I hate those three words.

Let me tell you what I do-

I wake up to 6 beautiful children every single day, for better or worse, rain or shine, sleep or no. There are no sick days, personal days, weekends, or vacations. There is no sleeping in. Because there are budget restrictions with the life that we have chosen, there is no take out, delivery, or eating out. I plan for, shop for and prepare 21 balanced, healthy, meals a week, on a tight budget, every week. I clean up after all of those meals, and I don't have a dishwasher to assist me with it either. I do about 15 loads of laundry every week, and there is no dry cleaning. I wash, dry, iron and hang all of my husbands work clothes. My children are home schooled, and yes, it is hard work. Five children in five different age/grade levels, and I am teacher to all of them. No one gets on a bus to leave all day. My house can get very messy, very fast. There's a lot more cleaning to do when the children are home all day. There's also a lot more quarreling to referee, and 6 schedules to keep up on every minute of the day. There are floors to mop, bathrooms to clean, things to dust, windows to wash, walls to wipe, and four out of six children require my assistance with bathes. Then there's the dressing, teeth brushing, hair combing, diaper changing, nursing, and helping with the potty on a daily basis. I'm the nurse when they're sick or wounded. I wipe noses, kiss boo boos, and hug the tears away. I pull teeth, and clip nails. I remind them of their please and thank you's and yes ma'am/yes sir. I pray for them, encourage them, and I know them so intimately, I weep for them when I know things are heavy and hard for them. I have a husband to support as well. He works full time, an hour and a half away from home. He is studying for the gospel ministry. We're involved in planting a church in our community. We're learning to raise chickens, and grow our own food.

My duties don't end at 5 o'clock every day. They go on, and even interrupt my sleep on many occasions. There's no manual, or training, just learn as you go, and pray for God to guide you and bless your efforts. Most times there's success, sometimes, not so. I don't get benefits, or a paycheck. I don't get time to myself, and I don't have time for hobbies.

What I do get is all the most precious time with my children before it's gone for forever. I don't have to miss out on things. I don't just get time with my children for a few hours in the evenings and on weekends. I teach them. I watch them learn. I watch them grow. I nurture them, and love them. I trust the person who takes care of them all day. I know they are safe and in good hands. And my family gets 100% of me and my efforts, not what's left over after I have pursued other things all day. They are my priority over all other things. I am so blessed to be able to say this, I know many women who cannot, and wish that they could.

One day, when I'm old (Lord Willing), I do not think I will look back and say "I wish I had had a career, and more free time to myself". I believe I will miss my children, and all the work that came with raising them.

So the answer to the question "do you work", is this-

Yeah I work...and dollars to donuts, my job is way harder and way better than yours.

Out to Lunch-Be Back Soon

Yep, that's pretty much where I've been, out to lunch! And I'm not really talking about the meal that falls between breakfast and the leftover dessert I woof down while I'm cooking dinner either.

Don't know the date on my last post, but I know i'ts been a while. Well, look out peops, I'm back. I'm back to annoy you with my sarcasm, and complaining about the wonderful, beautiful, insane, crazy life that I have been so blessed with.

I imagine that my next post will be something to do with moving into this here place we live in now. Yeah I know it was a year ago (almost) but I figure that's a good place to pick up where I left off...wherever that was...

Stay tuned

Tolerance huh?

Recently I came across this little tidbit...





Well, to all of you who seem to find this humorous, I dedicate this post...

tol·er·ance-
–noun 1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

I love how I get hung out to dry constantly for being a Christian, by those who run around screaming about my intolerance.

Please, all of you self-righteous people out there, someone direct me to the place on the Duggars or my website that makes fun of Jews, homosexuals, the disabled, people of other races, or those who have no kids at all.

Seems like this society is FULL of "tolerant" people wanting me to know how wrong, crazy, humorous, stupid, or oppressed they think I and others like me are because we're different from the norm.

Oxy-morons!

Maybe if Mrs. Duggar would have had and MBA, a big house, a successful career, and 17 abortions rather than children, she would have gotten applauded instead of poked fun at...


Oh, and P.S. - You're right, I am intolerant...of hypocrites

House of Cards

"For those who thought a Democratic congress would end the war in Iraq, think again: their new budget proposes supplemental funds totaling about $150 billion in 2008 and $50 billion in 2009 for Iraq. This is in addition to the ordinary Department of Defense budget of more than $500 billion, which the Democrats propose increasing each year just like the Republicans."- Congressman Ron Paul M.D.

No matter what your political affiliation may be watch this video about Ron Paul speaking on the Dollar / currency policies of America. It will give you a little crash course in basic economics. Read the texts that appear on the screen. Pause the screen if you have to.

FACT: The Dollar is worth .04 cents of what it was in 1913 - right before the Feds seized the Gold (from citizens) and created the fiat money system we are under today.The "Federal" Reserve is not Federal at all. It is an amalgamation of PRIVATE banks. They pull the strings of the US economy and thus, set its policies.

"Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes her laws." - Mayer Amschel Rothschild.