The nurse practitioner who was trying to go over some stuff with me, was totally distracted by Baby-Zilla. He was climbing in the chairs, banging on the window yelling at ducks outside, and at one point even climbed up and stood on top of the trash can. She remarked "He is so cute!". I said, "Yeah. He is also SOOO bad!". To which she replied, "I see that! He is a hot little mess, and I think that's what makes him so cute to me. I can't stand it! These two must keep you busy all day long, I can't imagine." And then she said it. Three seemingly little words that make me cringe, "Do you work?"
These words shouldn't really make me feel negative. I mean, what's the big deal? I know what she means by that. She means, do I have a nine to five that I get up and go to every day that provides me with some kid of compensation at the end of the week. I get it. But in the crazy feminist society that we live in, the words "do you work" have so much more meaning behind them.
A long time ago, women used to work because they had to. And yes, there's still women today who only work because they have to. But the majority of working women, are working because they want to. Now that's not my issue, do what you like. My issue is that somewhere along the way, women decided that it's no longer "work" to stay home and raise a family. That doing such "menial" things is only what uneducated, oppressed, women do because "they have to". That just staying home is not a worthy endeavor. It's much better for a woman to get an education and a career and make a lot of money. That she can and should "do it all". And that mentality, that this society teaches our little girls, is why I hate those three words.
Let me tell you what I do-
I wake up to 6 beautiful children every single day, for better or worse, rain or shine, sleep or no. There are no sick days, personal days, weekends, or vacations. There is no sleeping in. Because there are budget restrictions with the life that we have chosen, there is no take out, delivery, or eating out. I plan for, shop for and prepare 21 balanced, healthy, meals a week, on a tight budget, every week. I clean up after all of those meals, and I don't have a dishwasher to assist me with it either. I do about 15 loads of laundry every week, and there is no dry cleaning. I wash, dry, iron and hang all of my husbands work clothes. My children are home schooled, and yes, it is hard work. Five children in five different age/grade levels, and I am teacher to all of them. No one gets on a bus to leave all day. My house can get very messy, very fast. There's a lot more cleaning to do when the children are home all day. There's also a lot more quarreling to referee, and 6 schedules to keep up on every minute of the day. There are floors to mop, bathrooms to clean, things to dust, windows to wash, walls to wipe, and four out of six children require my assistance with bathes. Then there's the dressing, teeth brushing, hair combing, diaper changing, nursing, and helping with the potty on a daily basis. I'm the nurse when they're sick or wounded. I wipe noses, kiss boo boos, and hug the tears away. I pull teeth, and clip nails. I remind them of their please and thank you's and yes ma'am/yes sir. I pray for them, encourage them, and I know them so intimately, I weep for them when I know things are heavy and hard for them. I have a husband to support as well. He works full time, an hour and a half away from home. He is studying for the gospel ministry. We're involved in planting a church in our community. We're learning to raise chickens, and grow our own food.
My duties don't end at 5 o'clock every day. They go on, and even interrupt my sleep on many occasions. There's no manual, or training, just learn as you go, and pray for God to guide you and bless your efforts. Most times there's success, sometimes, not so. I don't get benefits, or a paycheck. I don't get time to myself, and I don't have time for hobbies.
What I do get is all the most precious time with my children before it's gone for forever. I don't have to miss out on things. I don't just get time with my children for a few hours in the evenings and on weekends. I teach them. I watch them learn. I watch them grow. I nurture them, and love them. I trust the person who takes care of them all day. I know they are safe and in good hands. And my family gets 100% of me and my efforts, not what's left over after I have pursued other things all day. They are my priority over all other things. I am so blessed to be able to say this, I know many women who cannot, and wish that they could.
One day, when I'm old (Lord Willing), I do not think I will look back and say "I wish I had had a career, and more free time to myself". I believe I will miss my children, and all the work that came with raising them.
So the answer to the question "do you work", is this-
Yeah I work...and dollars to donuts, my job is way harder and way better than yours.
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